這次放假剛回家，聽到二姑丈自殺的噩耗，蠻驚訝的，從小到大他給我的印象總是很開朗，臉上帶著笑臉，在銀行上班，也會玩股票，工作之餘也看很多書，生活中也很多情趣，家裡也布置得很漂亮，總會任內去他家住的時候，也準備買房地產投資，家庭也很融洽，女兒也很孝順，大女兒在遠東銀行上班，二女兒讀淡大，年資也到可以領退休金了。
這些不是很多人一生追求的嗎？家庭和樂、生活無虞。可以開始享樂時，卻選擇在此劃下句點，真得很難相信、理解。
Day 2晚上，和汴杭聊天時，他說他在離開AIESEC後，突然覺得讀書很重要，也聊到了之後出社會的問題，另外，也問了他賺錢的目的是什麼？如同Peter Drucker四個問句的「What for」，試圖找到更根本的答案，他想到的答案有維持基本生活，獨立生活...等，現階段我也還沒完全確定我自己的，雖然我越來越相信賺錢只是手段，不是我最根本的目的。
當晚自己騎車回家時又突然想到姑丈的事，又讓我重新思考我們到底是為什麼而活。
July 11, 2007
課外組蔡大哥
Day 1 NCF當party場地改到多用途大廳，於是騎車到多用途大廳，看到蔡大哥開門、幫我們拿器材，後來跟蔡大哥打招呼，沒想到蔡大哥竟然對我有印象，問我怎麼會回來，真的超驚訝的。第一次認識蔡大哥應該是2003中山wNCF，那時候場地、器材靠他幫很多忙，之後也有幾次在多用途舉辦Beer Game，也都是蔡大哥幫我們開關門和準備器材，除了舉辦活動外，其實蠻少互動的，以前常去社辦時，偶爾會遇到蔡大哥拿鑰匙走來走去，有時候也很晚了。
總之，在那時候就和大哥聊起來了，第一次聊這麼多。Day 3下午在社辦外面看海時，也遇到大哥，那時候他準備去關演藝廳，因為delegate準備去OD，隨口問我有沒有要去。
不只我們，相信許多社團的活動都有大哥的幫忙，答謝大哥幫忙最好的方式，就是減少大哥的麻煩和困擾，器材和設備都要遵照大哥說明使用，場地要確實，特別是Beer Game後，要拖地。
最後，祝大哥萬事如意，身體健康！
總之，在那時候就和大哥聊起來了，第一次聊這麼多。Day 3下午在社辦外面看海時，也遇到大哥，那時候他準備去關演藝廳，因為delegate準備去OD，隨口問我有沒有要去。
不只我們，相信許多社團的活動都有大哥的幫忙，答謝大哥幫忙最好的方式，就是減少大哥的麻煩和困擾，器材和設備都要遵照大哥說明使用，場地要確實，特別是Beer Game後，要拖地。
最後，祝大哥萬事如意，身體健康！
藍色生死戀 V.S. AIESEC Transtion
昨天慈敏問我「Transition有沒有很感動時」，有點不知如何回答，因為離開這一年，和MC並沒有太多的互動，所以當他們在台上時，他們說的話在腦海中很少出現畫面，除了慈敏的部分外。
相對於今早看到藍色生死戀，男女主角長大後重新遇到的那一幕，反而比較感動，其實在看生死戀時，就有在想，為什麼對於生活上經歷的大部分事都可以冷靜對待，但看電視或電影時，反而感情更充沛，真的蠻奇怪的。
回想在AIESEC經歷過的Transtion中，應該有三次曾經想哭過。第一次是0203LC EB Team在傳承營要交接給下一屆時，一度很想哭，因為是我很佩服的一屆，但告訴自己不能哭，也不知道如何解釋，因為當時覺得自己不應該哭，自己其實剛進AIESEC，還沒經歷過大事，也未有多少貢獻，這股哭的感覺只是氣氛感染，不是真實的，就算要哭，也要等到自己當VP的時候。
第二次想哭是在0405LC VP Team要交接時，剛開始在講話時，突然一度很想哭，因為比起過去當Staff，想做什麼就做什麼，很自由自在，但當VP時，底下有三個Staff，整個任期內都一直在思考如何可以motivate他們，和如何能完成我們這一個term的任務，但最後整個term結束的performance不很理想，蠻受挫的，同時又回想起任內的許多回憶，突然不知為何有一股感傷，聲音開始哽咽，特別感謝小火龍的干擾，在那一瞬間，就化解的我的悲傷，平安度過整個Transition。
第三次是Sandy終於要離開AIESEC，從最初的MCVPOGX、第二年MCVPS&L到第三年MCP，雖然並未有太多的互動，但看到她為了這個組織，辛苦付出三年，心中真的很感動，特別是當所有人站起來為她鼓掌時，情緒很激動，也是最熱淚盈眶的一次。
寫到這裡應該會被0506的teammates抗議吧，說為什麼0506沒有上榜呢！哈哈，我也不知道，在當時就是沒有想哭的feel。
相對於今早看到藍色生死戀，男女主角長大後重新遇到的那一幕，反而比較感動，其實在看生死戀時，就有在想，為什麼對於生活上經歷的大部分事都可以冷靜對待，但看電視或電影時，反而感情更充沛，真的蠻奇怪的。
回想在AIESEC經歷過的Transtion中，應該有三次曾經想哭過。第一次是0203LC EB Team在傳承營要交接給下一屆時，一度很想哭，因為是我很佩服的一屆，但告訴自己不能哭，也不知道如何解釋，因為當時覺得自己不應該哭，自己其實剛進AIESEC，還沒經歷過大事，也未有多少貢獻，這股哭的感覺只是氣氛感染，不是真實的，就算要哭，也要等到自己當VP的時候。
第二次想哭是在0405LC VP Team要交接時，剛開始在講話時，突然一度很想哭，因為比起過去當Staff，想做什麼就做什麼，很自由自在，但當VP時，底下有三個Staff，整個任期內都一直在思考如何可以motivate他們，和如何能完成我們這一個term的任務，但最後整個term結束的performance不很理想，蠻受挫的，同時又回想起任內的許多回憶，突然不知為何有一股感傷，聲音開始哽咽，特別感謝小火龍的干擾，在那一瞬間，就化解的我的悲傷，平安度過整個Transition。
第三次是Sandy終於要離開AIESEC，從最初的MCVPOGX、第二年MCVPS&L到第三年MCP，雖然並未有太多的互動，但看到她為了這個組織，辛苦付出三年，心中真的很感動，特別是當所有人站起來為她鼓掌時，情緒很激動，也是最熱淚盈眶的一次。
寫到這裡應該會被0506的teammates抗議吧，說為什麼0506沒有上榜呢！哈哈，我也不知道，在當時就是沒有想哭的feel。
What I Can Do Better
NCF過程中，有幾個部分我自己認為應該還有改善的空間。
1. After the official dinner, she realized that those people who she really loved was going to leave, such as 小捲(Amber), 政治, and many 0607 Staff. However, she loved them so much and don't want them to leave. At Day 3 night, when I was in the room where SYLC stayed, 小玉 suddenly started weeping and asking me for advice.
In fact, I really didn't know what to do. In the past, even when Vickey is struggling at the beginning of MC term, I didn't know what I should do, either. We were teammates in SYLC for 3 years, and went through many things together. However, even so, I chose not to act actively. I thought she must have many things to consider. One year is a long time and it won't be an easy year. I would prefer she can make the decision on her own, even though when she asked my opinion, I would love to share with her. After all, we have to consciously make the choice. Time is so precious that we should do things that we love and commit to. Staying for friendship, people, or because you are so used to this place and you just don't want to leave is a reason to stay, but it's not the best choice in my opinion. We all have many things to do in different stages of life. As the story suggests, we should fill up the battle with rocks first, then sands, and water last. If we fill it with sands or water first, there is no room for rocks, which stands for the most important things.
Besides my personal story above, I heard one similar story from Angela, 0304 SYLC LCP, in the class this semester. After she got elected as the LCP, but one, who was her very good friend and also a very skillful and qualified VP candidate, decided to leave AIESEC, because his father was sick and he wanted to spend more time with the family. She was struggling. She was afraid of losing him, because it was hard to find another candidate as competitive as him. He did leave at the end. I have no comment for this story, but it does show us we are not the only person who was bothered by this problem, and we would face it many times in the life, like graduations, work, couples, families, and so on.
One last thing is if I really love that person, I should think what is the best for him, instead of forcing him/her to stay. Maybe we all know the logic or reasoning, but the love or emotion is stronger. I may need to learn how to be more compassionate.
2. At the end of the closing, I said to 小朱 and 婉萱, "The last NCF how excited and energetic OCs were, comparing with them." I compared many things with the last NCF throughout the conference, when I reflected at this moment. I didn't give them any praise for what they do and just speak my own stereotype. I should learn how to speak impeccable praises, which are direct, specific, and respectful.
To 小朱：「最後一天，看到你很沒精神，看來一定睡很少，這幾天這麼辛苦，只看到你總是認真地在跑來跑去，處理器材和場控，真得很感謝你，如果不是你，這幾天活動很難順利進行。」
To 小包：「後來才知道你最後一天突然哭是因為大家都不練OC dances喔，那我也應該要哭一下，大家都不練roll call，害我起一大早來，更應該哭一下，Anyway, OC dances挺有趣的，大家跳得也很好，整齊一致，有精神，只不過有點難的，看來大家蠻有舞蹈天分的。」
To 小捲：「終於辦完NCF，你應該也鬆了一口氣吧，期間遇到很多狀況，像是Day 1場地問題，晚餐問題等，但你總能立即趕緊解決，天天都要殺推和檢討會應該睡得超少吧，會期間還要控制全場狀況，確保一切順利，這是個很艱難的任務，但從delegate的表情和他們給OC的評語看得出來，他們都很喜歡這次的NCF，之前曾當過NCF行銷組員，壓力真得很大，這次你願意接OCP真得需要很大的勇氣，希望你玩得開心，從中有所學習，並有美好的回憶，祝你之後一切順利。」
To 小玉：「這一年，回來參加AIESEC時，經常看到你出席許多活動，像是reception team和trainee聚會，對你認真付出參與留下很深刻印象，NCF又同時身兼OC和delegate，應該很累，但卻總是看到你保有快樂的笑容，晚上sharing時也可以獨當一面了，未來這一年可能會遇到很多困難或艱辛，但送你之前學長姐常說得一句話『莫忘初衷』。」
To Jimmy：「NCF辛苦了，連MC Transition都能睡那麼熟，想必真的是很累吧，雖然會期間只有兩三次看到你和分會講話的情況，但每次看到你認真跟member分享或傳達事情時，蠻感動的，遇到member跟你說什麼事情時，你也總是認真傾聽，分會沒人時，也會第一個挺身而出，中山分會就靠你了。」
1. After the official dinner, she realized that those people who she really loved was going to leave, such as 小捲(Amber), 政治, and many 0607 Staff. However, she loved them so much and don't want them to leave. At Day 3 night, when I was in the room where SYLC stayed, 小玉 suddenly started weeping and asking me for advice.
In fact, I really didn't know what to do. In the past, even when Vickey is struggling at the beginning of MC term, I didn't know what I should do, either. We were teammates in SYLC for 3 years, and went through many things together. However, even so, I chose not to act actively. I thought she must have many things to consider. One year is a long time and it won't be an easy year. I would prefer she can make the decision on her own, even though when she asked my opinion, I would love to share with her. After all, we have to consciously make the choice. Time is so precious that we should do things that we love and commit to. Staying for friendship, people, or because you are so used to this place and you just don't want to leave is a reason to stay, but it's not the best choice in my opinion. We all have many things to do in different stages of life. As the story suggests, we should fill up the battle with rocks first, then sands, and water last. If we fill it with sands or water first, there is no room for rocks, which stands for the most important things.
Besides my personal story above, I heard one similar story from Angela, 0304 SYLC LCP, in the class this semester. After she got elected as the LCP, but one, who was her very good friend and also a very skillful and qualified VP candidate, decided to leave AIESEC, because his father was sick and he wanted to spend more time with the family. She was struggling. She was afraid of losing him, because it was hard to find another candidate as competitive as him. He did leave at the end. I have no comment for this story, but it does show us we are not the only person who was bothered by this problem, and we would face it many times in the life, like graduations, work, couples, families, and so on.
One last thing is if I really love that person, I should think what is the best for him, instead of forcing him/her to stay. Maybe we all know the logic or reasoning, but the love or emotion is stronger. I may need to learn how to be more compassionate.
2. At the end of the closing, I said to 小朱 and 婉萱, "The last NCF how excited and energetic OCs were, comparing with them." I compared many things with the last NCF throughout the conference, when I reflected at this moment. I didn't give them any praise for what they do and just speak my own stereotype. I should learn how to speak impeccable praises, which are direct, specific, and respectful.
To 小朱：「最後一天，看到你很沒精神，看來一定睡很少，這幾天這麼辛苦，只看到你總是認真地在跑來跑去，處理器材和場控，真得很感謝你，如果不是你，這幾天活動很難順利進行。」
To 小包：「後來才知道你最後一天突然哭是因為大家都不練OC dances喔，那我也應該要哭一下，大家都不練roll call，害我起一大早來，更應該哭一下，Anyway, OC dances挺有趣的，大家跳得也很好，整齊一致，有精神，只不過有點難的，看來大家蠻有舞蹈天分的。」
To 小捲：「終於辦完NCF，你應該也鬆了一口氣吧，期間遇到很多狀況，像是Day 1場地問題，晚餐問題等，但你總能立即趕緊解決，天天都要殺推和檢討會應該睡得超少吧，會期間還要控制全場狀況，確保一切順利，這是個很艱難的任務，但從delegate的表情和他們給OC的評語看得出來，他們都很喜歡這次的NCF，之前曾當過NCF行銷組員，壓力真得很大，這次你願意接OCP真得需要很大的勇氣，希望你玩得開心，從中有所學習，並有美好的回憶，祝你之後一切順利。」
To 小玉：「這一年，回來參加AIESEC時，經常看到你出席許多活動，像是reception team和trainee聚會，對你認真付出參與留下很深刻印象，NCF又同時身兼OC和delegate，應該很累，但卻總是看到你保有快樂的笑容，晚上sharing時也可以獨當一面了，未來這一年可能會遇到很多困難或艱辛，但送你之前學長姐常說得一句話『莫忘初衷』。」
To Jimmy：「NCF辛苦了，連MC Transition都能睡那麼熟，想必真的是很累吧，雖然會期間只有兩三次看到你和分會講話的情況，但每次看到你認真跟member分享或傳達事情時，蠻感動的，遇到member跟你說什麼事情時，你也總是認真傾聽，分會沒人時，也會第一個挺身而出，中山分會就靠你了。」
Favorite AIESEC T-shirt
1. SYLC T-shirt(2002)
2. Korea Delegation T-shirt of APLDS in Korea(2003)
3. The LC T-shirt from Denise(the trainee that I hosted and is also an AIESECer)
2. Korea Delegation T-shirt of APLDS in Korea(2003)
3. The LC T-shirt from Denise(the trainee that I hosted and is also an AIESECer)
My Favorite AIESEC Dances & Roll Calls
Take some time to reflect during NCF. It's the answer that I come up with so far.
Dances:
1. Follow the leader
2. Let's get it started.
3. LeLe/Panjabi
Roll Call
1. @ Korea(AP in Korea Version)
2. ja(2002JFM in SYLC)
3. alele
Dances:
1. Follow the leader
2. Let's get it started.
3. LeLe/Panjabi
Roll Call
1. @ Korea(AP in Korea Version)
2. ja(2002JFM in SYLC)
3. alele
Time To Move On
期待超久的NCF終於到了，這幾天睡蠻少的，也重新體驗一下過去在AIESEC的感覺，跳了很多dances，甚至還上台做Closing Roll Call，另外，退了一年，又突然還要傳承IS的東西，重新摸索一年前的東西。
Anyway, 雖然再次重溫過去的回憶很美好，但也是時候該長大，做現階段更重要的大石頭了，以後就頂多客串一下Dances和Roll Calls吧，說不定也都忘了，有機會丟到FTP好了，有興趣的自學吧，至於沒有影片的，Anyway, I don't know. 也許就失傳了也說不定。
現階段，先把IS傳承完，並督促中山or總會把高雄市政府合作紀錄做完，我的歷史任務就暫時結束了，開始繼續前進了！
Anyway, 雖然再次重溫過去的回憶很美好，但也是時候該長大，做現階段更重要的大石頭了，以後就頂多客串一下Dances和Roll Calls吧，說不定也都忘了，有機會丟到FTP好了，有興趣的自學吧，至於沒有影片的，Anyway, I don't know. 也許就失傳了也說不定。
現階段，先把IS傳承完，並督促中山or總會把高雄市政府合作紀錄做完，我的歷史任務就暫時結束了，開始繼續前進了！
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